The Dreams That Never Were
by avocadobaby
Summary: Vince sat back and sighed whilst his pyjama clad legs folded beneath him. He remembered being seven and telling his parents "When I'm older, I wanna be a rock 'n' roll star!" But it just never happened.
1. Losing It

**Okay… so… this chapter was completely written by Mrs Old Gregg. Don't worry, I've not stolen it :) she asked me to continue the story as she's already written a lot of stories. The chapters after this are mine though :)**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Boosh, never will. All rights belong to Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt and their amazing minds**.

**Summary: Vince sat back and sighed whilst his pyjama clad legs folded beneath him. He remembered being seven and telling his parents "When I'm older, I wanna be a rock 'n' roll star!" But it just never happened.**

Title: The Dreams that never were

Chapter 1- Losing it

_"What do you want to be when you're older Vince?" Vince grinned and stared up at his teacher. _

_"I wanna be a Rock 'n' Roll star!" The class burst into hysterics. _

_"Yeah right Noir, you? You look more like Kate Moss than Kurt Cobain." The class laughed at the cynical comment cast by the joker of his class whilst the teacher pondered how Mickey knew who Kurt Cobain was. _

_"No, I'm gonna be on stage in front of millions singing and when I am, you'll all be shitting yourselves!" Mrs Bancroft shot her glance up at Vince. _

_"Vince, you're seven, where did you learn that kind of language?" His innocent blue eyes pleaded her apology for snapping and she knew he didn't know what it meant. _

_"My daddy shouted it at my mummy once." He naïvely mumbled with a frown, close to tears at the tone in his teacher's voice. "I thought it meant pooing yourself." She smiled to herself and placed a hand on his shoulder. _

_"Never say that again Vincent okay? It's a bad word, promise me?" He nodded and giggled the word, _

_"Promise!" _

Vince smiled fondly at the memory. She was the best teacher in the school but she left when he was in year five and they got another teacher who wasn't as kind hearted and selfless. Sipping at the warm cup of brown liquid he clutched, he rewound his memory and listened to the sentence Mickey had said over and over again.

"Yeah right Noir, you? You look more like Kate Moss than Kurt Cobain." He also thought about how he was right. His dreams about being a rock and roll star had seemed to fall, he'd lost his chance.

"Well I've been in an electro band several times." He used to whine defensively to Howard. Every time he'd reply with,

"You performed at the Velvet Onion on a Saturday with me, that's hardly a world wide rock and roll star is it?" Howard was also too right. The stark light tumbled through the curtains and fell onto his face. He was always miserable, he didn't know why, but he was. He was meant to be the sunshine kid but he was only lately realising that the emotions he'd bottled up were profoundly important to him. Howard hung his coat on the hook and stared at Vince.

"You okay little man?" He mumbled and straightened his hat before landing his sympathetic glare on the faded electro king.

"H'ward?" He sighed, his lashes resting on his high cheekbones. "Do you think I'm wasting my life?" Howard raised a questioning eyebrow and perched on the arm of the nineteenth century arm chair Naboo had found in a scrap heap- he was hoping to sell it soon and Tony Harrison had taken an interest-.

"No, why would you think that?" Howard mumbled and hesitated to put his arm around Vince; he hated touching people, even his mother.

"Well I used to think I'd be in a rock and roll band. Well, just a rock and roll star actually. I dreamed of being talk of the town and all that and… well I'm a shopkeeper in Dalston who lives with a jazz musician, short shaman and a violent gorilla." Howard smiled, he was expecting jazz freak. "I just thought thing's would be different." Howard's eyes lit up as he saw a poster on the wall that Bollo had pinned up.

_Wanted, singer for a rock band, name undecided, needs to be completely against jazz, have big hair, a good look and a good dress sense… oh and a good voice. _

Underneath the ad was an address.

"Vince, you interested in being a lead singer?" Vince stared up at him with big, baby-like blue eyes and nodded. "Thought you might be."

.


	2. Vince's Chance

**AN: 'Ey chickens. This is my chapter now, the rest shall be mine it's just the first that was Mrs Old Gregg's.**

**Um, Should I say anything else? I can't be arsed so go ahead and read, bitches ;) **

"'Oward, this is great!" Vince exclaimed.

Howard forced a smile, looking unsure.

"I just don't want you getting your hopes up, little man."

Vince grinned. "You're messin' around, right? This'll be genius!"

"Wait, Vince!" But Vince had already skipped off to his room, happy as a child at a fair, to care about Howard's negative views on exciting things.

Vince had been deciding what he would wear for a week.

"I HAVE to look perfect, H'ward, it's all about the look!" Vince told him.

"That's not what music's about, Vince. You've got to appreciate the lyrics and the sound and the feel… not how shiny the lead singer's boots are," Howard said, sighing.

Vince sighed, "Don't go getting' deep with me! I like the music too, but none of you jazz freaks have style, that's one of the reasons it's so uncool!"

"Just gonna ignore that insult Vince," Howard said, frowning a little.

Vince chuckled, hugging Howard. Howard winced and pulled back.

"You're completely unprepared, Vince."

"I'm not; I've pretty much decided what I'm going to wear!"

Howard looked at him, "Not like that…Musically! Have you deciding what you're going to sing?"

Vince looked at him blankly.

Howard sighed, "Talking to you is like talking to… skittles!"

Vince grinned, "Hey, I like that! Shows I'm full of energy and pretty and sweet!"

"Oh don't go getting hyper now! Don't think I can handle it…" said Howard putting his head in his hands.

"Do you think I should get purple streaks?" Vince asked, away with the fairies as usual. He ruffled his hair as he looked at it in the mirror.

"No. But whatever I'll say you'll do it anyway."

Vince smiled, "Sounds about right… I'm going to Camden… need some new Chelsea boots… maybe some blue ones… with silver sparkles…"

Howard didn't understand any of this. It was all pointless to him.

It only took Vince two hours to get ready. He was dressed in skinny zebra striped jeans, a silky purple shirt, sparkly blue Chelsea boots and a pink scarf with black stripes on it. He had put purple streaks in his hair and had backcombed it more than usual, was wearing lots of eyeliner and had glittery blue and purple eye shimmer on. The overall look was quite extraordinary.

"So, what do you think?" asked Vince to Naboo, Bollo and Howard, smiling his winning smile.

Howard looked at him closely. Naboo grinned.

"Bollo like Vince's clothes," Bollo grunted.

"Cheers, Bollo," Vince grinned.

"We better be off, little man," Howard said to Vince.

Vince grinned, "I'm gonna be a rock 'n' roll star!"

Vince and Howard walked up the stairs of the studio, Vince stopping every so often to point out shiny bits on the floor and the little stars that were painted on the wall. Eventually though they reached the top and it opened up into a big, bright room. It was covered with modern paintings, posters of rock bands and everything Vince loved. He squealed with excitement.

"Hey, you must be Vincent Noir," a stylish girl came up to them and smiled enthusiastically.

"I prefer Vince, but yeah," Vince smiled at the girl. She was very pretty.

"Just come through here, please."

Howard and Vince began to follow her, she stopped Howard.

"You must wait here," she said coldly.

"Er, okay…" Howard was a little disappointed. "Good luck, little man."

Vince grinned and walked into another room.

They grow up so fast, Howard thought fondly.

**Please review! Whoever does gets a chance as cool as Vince's :)**


	3. The Audition

**Hey everyone, sorry this has taken so long to post, my laptop's being really slow, and I've only just written this because I've had really bad writer's block. So sorry! :( I'll try to post more often and not be such a shitty writer.**

Vince walked in to a crowded, colourful room. He could hear the murmur of chatter and music.

"Just sit right there, Vince." The woman with the clipboard said, smiling. He grinned back, thinking he'd have to get her number later. "Someone should call your name in a bit," she informed him, turning round and strutting away.

Vince sat down next to an indie-looking teenage boy who was strumming chords gently on his guitar. There were several girls circled around him, blushing as he smiled and winked. Vince looked around, looking at all the people auditioning. They all looked like musical people, and Vince felt worried; Howard had once said Vince was the least musical person he'd ever met.

"Vince Noir?" called a man who was holding a door open.

Vince stood up, and walked over to the door. He smiled at the man.

"Oh, _please…_" Vince heard the man whisper.

"Excuse me?" Vince said

"You're not exactly a Rockstar, are you? You're a bit of a wannabe," the man sneered. Several of the people in the room sniggered.

"Say that again.." Vince said, stepping closer to the sneering man.

"You look like a slag… there's no place for you in this band."

"Who sez?"

"Me," said the man. Vince pulled a face. "I'm Kenny, the founder of the band," he said, grinning.

Vince's face fell. _Shit,_ he thought, _if he doesn't like me, then there's no chance of me getting in the band. _

"You've gotta at least let me audition!" Vince protested.

"And watch you fail?" Kenny grinned, "happy to."

Vince stepped into the room, praying the others would like him. There were three people sat down behind a table; a guy with hair that covered his eyes, a girl with electric blue, layered hair and a ginger haired girl with a big fringe. They all smiled at him, looking pleased.

"Well, he's got the right look," the blue haired girl said, smiling, she had a Welsh accent.

"It's not _all_ about the looks," the snooty man called Kenny said, sitting on a chair behind the table, "I bet this bimbo can't sing."

"I'm sure he'll prove you wrong," said the ginger girl, she had an Irish accent, "What are you singing today, hun?"

"A mash-up of My Generation by The Who and London Calling by The Clash," Vince smiled.

Ken snorted. The two girls glared at him.

"Two very different songs," said the blue haired girl, "But it could work."

"Come on," said the guy with the long fringe, he was Northern, "I wanna hear 'im sing. Go on." He nodded at the CD player.

Vince put his CD in and pressed play. He walked over to the microphone and sang with all his heart.

He finished to loud applause from everyone, apart from Kenny. However, Vince noticed that during the performance he looked impressed.

"Judge's verdict!" giggled the redhead.

"Me first!" called the blue-haired girl, "I'm Rox, and I love you!" she squealed delightedly.

Kenny rolled his eyes.

"You're a great singer, you've got great style and you'll fit in. Ooh, and also, if you get in, you can help name the band!"

"Cool!" smiled Vince, "Thank You."

"Now me!" the Irish girl said, "I'm Taz, and you're great! I _love _your voice, _and _your style, _and _you…" Vince smiled politely, _Wow, these girls are obsessive _he thought.

"I'm Carl," smiled the fringe boy, "And that was good, your vocals are good, style's cool. I didn't think the songs'd go so well together but you did a good job mixin' 'em. Do you DJ?"

"A bit, but my mate Bollo helped me with this."

"Ah, 'e should help us int the studio"

"Oi, quit chatting, it's my turn," Kenny grinned wickedly. He looked at Vince for several seconds. "Firstly, you can't for the life in you sing. Secondly, them clothes are stupid and you look like a twat…" smiling at Vince's annoyed face, he went on, "and thirdly, you're never gonna make it as a Rockstar."

"Well, I think you're wrong, Kenny," said Rox. The other two nodded in agreement.

"We'll call you if you're in," Taz said.

"So, how did it go?" Howard asked, as Vince came through the door

"Good, I guess."

"Hmm, what happened, little man?"

"Well, all of 'em liked me 'part from this real shitbag called Kenny."

At that moment, someone pushed passed Vince, it was Kenny.

"Oh no…" said Vince, looking worried, "think I've just made an enemy…"

**Reviews please! :) **


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